Wednesday, November 3, 2010

I'm still human!

I think that people think that because you have depression, that you think that you are in the worst possible situation and no-one understands how bad it is to be you! That's not right!

I am still human, I still have feelings, I still have empathy!  I know there are worse people than me out there. That there are people that have terminal illnesses, been abused in their past etc, are having trouble making enough money to buy food for their families and plenty of other issues.  I don't want people to think that something tragic has happened to me to be like this.

 Unfortunately, I don't have a terrible incident that has up heaved my life to make explaining why I have this illness any easier.  I have the most amazing family, my husband is great my kids are amazing.  I was bought up in an amazing family with fabulous parents in a very caring environment.  So why me?
Why do I feel so low, and yet have a perfect life?  You tell me!!!!

I guess its a bit like a car...

It can be going fine, look great, polished shiny and never have a problem with it. You turn the key on every morning and away she purrs.  But one day, on the day when you need it to run smoothly, as you are running late for that most important appointment, its the one day there is a problem with the engine.  Why now? Who knows.  Why this car? Who knows. Why this problem? Perhaps its a fault from the manufacturer.  Unfortunately, unlike cars we can't be recalled to fix that wee problem, that causes so many issues.  We need to be taken to the mechanic, hauled apart, put back together, and fingers crossed we've fixed the problem, and hopefully it won't happen again! And thanks...that will be half you next years wages gone to pay for it...or in life terms, that's the time it takes to get to the bottom of it!

Anyway to get back to the empathy thing.  Like I said i know other people have major issues in their lives, and i don't wish them on anybody. I so feel sorry for those people.  I don't want to play down their problems, because YES they are huge. I still have empathy and feelings!!!

All I want to say is that, I can't help the way I am feeling, and don't want sympathy. i just want people to know  have an illness, that i too am trying to deal with.  Just like people take time to work out what they need to cope with their illnesses such as diabetes, such as working out new diets, or medication regimes. I too need to find out what i need to make me better!

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